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Almost. They almost got me.
I found myself eating my first meal of the day feeling sorry for myself because of all the things that lack in my life, specifically, money for college. I resented being the one always needing help or asking for it in the cycle of human race.I was in the brink of questioning God (why me and my family? when will it ever end?), when I asked myself, “What’s your purpose?” and “Do you want this?” Because, after all the answers to those questions are what really matter.
It has been said that no matter what you want, if you want it bad enough, nothing will keep you from getting it.
I passed UPLB. Will possibly get in UP Manila as well. We’re talking about a great university with great professors and a great avenue of learning. A year ago, I was only hoping to get into a great school. Two years ago, I was only working my way of passing the A&E test. Three years ago, where I am now seemed like a far-fetched dream.
I was crazy enough to do whatever it takes to get to this point. I have this ticket for a good education in a fantastic university in a course that I actually wanted. The question was, “Do I want this?” Because if the answer is yes, now is certainly not the time to quit. Knowing the answer to the question, “What’s my purpose?” tells me the time to quit is actually never.
Yes, I want this. Therefore, as long as I am doing anybody, including myself, no harm, it doesn’t matter how I get it. If I have to ask for help, I will. If I have to suffer humiliation for it, I will. And if one day, I find myself eating my first meal of the day and almost giving in to negativity but suddenly finds a crazy idea of writing to the world to look for willing sponsors, I will. And here I am. Doing just that.
Yes, I need people to sponsor me for college. I need money for the tuition, I need money for my dormitory and I need money to live by in Los Baños (or Manila). I like to think that by doing what I can to seek assistance, I am honoring all that they do for me and I am honoring them as my parents. Plus, I owe this to my mom who has been fighting tooth and nail to give me and brother a good education and future.
I thought to myself that under this circumstance I have two — and only two — options. For one, I could sulk and resentfully go with the flow. Second, I can do whatever it takes and keep the positive attitude.
In both options, I see myself studying in the university and in the course that I used to only dream of which is now a reality. I mean, that’s a given. I’ve long since believed that God will send me to school.
The difference between the two options is the way I will live each day — the attitude I’ll have.
You see, in the first option, I see myself going to every class, enjoying it, but all the while worrying if I’ll ever get through the semester, thinking about my fears and possibly getting sick too (because worry leads to a dysfunctional immune system). I’ll also probably beat myself up knowing I could do something like this but didn’t. And I can’t take that.
In the second option, I see myself going to class and enjoying it, period. Because I decided to believe in my Cause. Because I decided to do whatever it takes to make sure I will finish every semester. Because I had gumption to try whatever crazy idea I have. Because I decided to trust in myself and in Him.
If you become one of my sponsors all throughout my university life, I can’t guarantee instant results nor very high grades. I can’t even guarantee that I’ll pay you back as soon as I find a job. With all of the debts my family and I have, I will have to prioritize those we accumulated when I got sick. In addition, I won’t even have a high-paying job in the first place. Not right away.
What I guarantee is that as one of my sponsors, your money will not just go to someone who needs to be in school. You will give to someone who loves to be in school. I guarantee that though I have to prioritize my health above my studies, I will do the best that I can. And it doesn’t stop on my graduation day nor when my family and I are secure with our needs. It doesn’t stop there. When the day comes that I have more than enough, everything will be given away. I will offer my time, my [honed] talents and most of all, my treasure to my ministry, to serve my country and God. It’s the purpose of it all.
It was Norman Vincent Peale who said, “Happiness will never come if it is a goal in itself; happiness is a by-product of a commitment to worthy causes.” He then later said that for him, Jesus Christ is a worthy Cause. I could not agree more.
We all have a cause, even if we don’t know we’re going after it. I believe that our own happiness will come from pursuing that cause we believe to be worthwhile. And that joy will come from the journey itself — knowing you’re giving your all, you’re dying for that cause, etc. And me? I happen to believe that Jesus Christ is a Cause far more worthy than all pain and sacrifices that I will go through.
I want to go to a great university because I have God-given talents and potential that I refuse to be wasted. I want to be molded and shaped into the best version of me so I can give the best that I can. I want to fill myself up so I can be poured out . And I know God wants that more than I do. But I have to do my part. It’s where the fulfillment will come from.
All of this is His dream and it came from His vision. This yearning desire to fulfill my dreams — and the dreams itself — were all planted in my heart by the very hands of the Lord. When you become my sponsor, one of my sponsors, you become His instrument and channel of provision. You become His hand in this world that allows His will to happen. And the good that you will bring will have a rippling effect for generations to come.
If you are interested to be one of my sponsors, please feel free to leave a comment here with your primary email or Facebook name and I’ll find a way to reach you, especially if you have questions. I can send you my Paypal e-mail address and/or my bank account number, and I’ll also give you my phone number. You may also leave an email at email@example.com, as well as add me up on Facebook!
I used to only sing “We’re never gonna stop!” in songs at The Feast. My heart is rejoicing right now because though it is scary, I am at a time in my life when I can live it out. If you become one of my sponsors, we will be utterly unstoppable.
Can I ask you for one last thing? Please pray for me. And my family. All my life, I’ve been dreaming about college. At 5, people would ask me, “San ka mag-aaral?” And I’d say, “Sa UP.” That dream is coming true. What I’m doing right now is crazy. But all my life now leads to this moment, to this test of faith. And probably more than all the money in the world, I need friends to stand by me and have my back through all of it. So pray for me — it’s the best thing one can do for a friend. Thank you. If anything, I hope you too won’t stop dreaming, won’t stop praying and won’t stop believing. :)
“Happiness doesn’t result from what we get, but from what we give.” - Ben Carson
Please help me find my dear cousin sponsors for college. If you know someone who can, kindly contact me through email: firstname.lastname@example.org